Sunday, August 14, 2005
BAD WEEK ALL ROUND
Just a quick catch up to confess my wicked, wicked ways this week. Things got way worse with my mum. Wed night I actually had to go there in the middle of the night because her DH had broken in to the house and was scaring her. Of course she wouldn't let me ring the police. I got him to leave, after some bad scene, but then she was terrified. She refused to leave her home because she has a fear that he will claim it. Hence I had to spend a lot of time there making her feel safe again. Had visits from some absolutely stupid friends of hers that just made things worse with the stupid things they say. Hence I got very angry and used food as a stress release. Basically I just decided that I didn't care and went on a binge for 4 days. My sister came out on Sat and we finished cleaning at her house and rearranging furniture to make the place safer for her. She can hardly walk and has had a lot of bad falls. She just wants to sit in her chair and be waited on all day and night long. We had to be mean and try to get her to start walking just a little even though it hurts. Then yesterday her "friends and minister" convinced her that we were just trying to put her in a nursing home. This made her hysterical again and she started rambling on about how her mum used to tell her she would put her in a home when she was a child. Funny thing was that this is what she used to say she would do to me when I was young. I then had to convince her that we are trying to make it that she can look after herself in her own home with a little help from us and the resources available in the community. BUT she has to start trying to help herself as well and not just sit in a chair all day. She has put on 3 stone in 6 months and I had to try to talk her into trying to lose some weight. (all the while I ended up eating my words and everything else I could find) My elder sister lectured me on the phone for a couple of hours. She wants them to get back together even though she agrees he is schizophrenic and hurts mum!! My brother has not even rang mum for nearly a year because he doesn't want to get involved. I need to contact all the places I can to try and get some help for mum.
As I said to my younger sister on Sat my mum is definitely my trigger. I actually only put on this weight after my dad died and then I had to look after her. She is a very difficult woman to be with but of course I have to do the right things for her regardless. The reason that this year I have been able to lose weight is I think because I reduced how much time I spent with her and thus reduced her influence on me. That is over now becasue I cannot leave her to suffer alone now he has gone.
In the middle of all this I had to take my ma-in-law for 3 hrs of tests to have her cataracts removed. She is my oldest and dearest friend. She suffers from Emphysema and has been ill for some time. She may not be able to have the Operation because of this so she was upset. She never complains and I have to force her to let me help her!! My Dh got sick with the flu and was a grumpy **** We ended up having words at the weekend so no support there. Now my DD is sick again as well! Kept her home from school but I have to be at work because we are so busy.
Somehow my short check in has been a long ramble. Thanks for giving me a place to vent. Need to get back to work. Have a good day everyone.
Posted by michelle ::
6:25 pm ::
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