Friday, March 09, 2007
DOING A MUNNELITA!!!!
Look what was waiting when I got home form work. Sometimes Dh does the nicest things.
Have exercised this week like a madwoman and the scales responded appropriately. The personal training session was intense and fantastic. Thought I would collapse but loved it. The past few nights though I have been extremely hungry but did sensible things like went for a run instead of eating. I was very proud of myself.
Then when I got home yesterday I caved. Just one little thing which then turned into another, and on and on. I am getting a cold, have been having dizzy spells for a few dyas, have broken a tooth so off to dentist today and I am scared of dentists, spent 3 hours with E doing a job application, my house is a mess and I am sick of cleaning it, T broke a new ornament I had just bought!!!! Have a 21st dinner and a 50th to organise and not in the mood....... EXCUSES!!!! SHIT I am soo stupid. Like Munnelita I had excuses, I deserved it after the bad week, after training sooo hard, I can work it off tomorrow etc. NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course there was a trigger and I knew it and still gave in. Mum went into hospital Thursday and I agonised over whether to visit her all night. Yestreday I raced out of work and to the hospital, stopping to buy flowers on the way. Got there to see her DH was with her. Told the nurse I couldn't go in and gave her the flowers to give to mum. No way could I be in the same room with that man!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is pathetic.
Instead of going back to work I went and did some retail therapy and resisted all food temptations. WHY then did I give in to the food at home that wasn't even nice???
Watched a show on Oprah I had taped and some of the words really hit home. The problems with my mum are easy to answer and rationalise but the healing is very difficult. Ecah time another problem occurs it is like a little murder to my soul. Sounds dramatic but it is exactly how it feels. Each hurt brings back the hurts from the past when I wasn't mothered or loved. Always thought I could cope and it had made me strong but that strength just keeps vanishing.
So yes just feel sooo sad and ate my way through it.
Today is another day though and I have 4 days to reach my own personal goal for the big BDAY! So I am going for a run. Hopefully it burns a few calories and rattles my head back into the mindspace it should be in.
UPDATE; PENANCE 1- Just ran 6km withot stopping. I have never ran more than 4km without stopping and only done that a few times. It helped to have a running partner to talk to and take my mind off the running. And she egged me on to go for 6km. WHOOOHOOOO
Now off to do Penance 2. more later.... Ok just got back and had my haircut. Have been trying to grow it and it always looks a mess with no style so had it cut short again.
Penance 3:- Now I am going to an Abs class. Don't like these so this will definitely be a penance. Also will fill the time until my dentist appointment. Only other option is housework and although I have made a start on that it wouldn't be enough to stop me focusing on dentist drills, and smells and pain..........
OK so dentist was as expected, Had major tooth repair carried out. Actually didn't hurt she is so good but still hated it. Have 2 more visits for other teeth to go. Then final penance, went for a 10km bike ride. Wanted to do more but combination of 33 degree heat, feeling my back burning even though I had slapped on sunscreen and cars bipping as they passed me made me alter the course to a 10km one.
Surely that is now enough punishment to make up for last night??
Posted by michelle ::
11:48 am ::
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Thursday, March 08, 2007
FUNRUN PHOTO
Great to have E come on the run with me. I told her to go at her own pace so of course she took off and left me behind. On the second lap though I was surprised to catch up with her and her friend. Only because they were walking!! I did the run faster than a year ago by about 10 minutes BUT I walked more of it than I ran and my times were slower than more recent runs. Think I had over-trained because all my body was so sore so I just did interval run/walking. . I was disappointed but still I did it. I had been running more in training during the weeek and last night went for a run and had no trouble maintaining my pace for 30 minutes. Hard to figure. i do dislike running but want to get better at it. Thought on Moday about giving up on it but as I said ran last night and again tonight so guess I am not quitting.
Have my first personal training session at the gym in the morning. Quite worried about how I will go. Just another challenge. This week I have been to cycling class, body combat, circuit class, tennis and 2 runs. Oh yeh we beat the 2nd top team at tennis by 1 game. Definitely need to consider career possibilities on the pro tennis circuit me thinks.
More problems with the M word today and the weekend will probably bring further developments so need to stay focused on eating well and exercising. Figure if I don't take the first plunge downhill then I can stay out of the hole.
Posted by michelle ::
2:48 am ::
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Saturday, March 03, 2007
another week gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE BIRTHDAY BOY
MY BEAUTIFUL E
THE HAPPY ENGAGED COUPLE
Damien Leith was absolutely fantatsic. he can really sing, sent shivers down my spine! His own music is really good too. we had a great girlies night out. Have exercised my butt off thi sweek, much better way to cope with stress and hence I feel much better.
SUN: 35 km biking, 20 mins treadmill
MON: 45 min cycle class, 45 mins weight session, 30 mins run
TUE: 2 hours tennis, 10km bike ride
WED: 45 mins weight session, 20min streadmill, 50 min boxing circuit
THU: 60 mins circuit training, 20 mins run
FRI: 45 mins weight session, 10km bike ride, 60mins Move Your Body session
SAT: rest day
SUN: will be doing the 8km funrun at the tan.
Jodie and her beautiful son came over for lunch. It was great to catch up again.
Had a lovely night out Friday night and enjoyed a big meal. Felt the exercise during the day would balance it. Have to say it did feel good to eat out awithout counting points, and enjoy but couldn't do it everyday. It was my nephews birthday and the family had fun getting together and never mentioning the "M" word.
Last night DH and I went to see Rocky. I was really inspired by seeing him achieve his dreams against the odds of being old and some of the lines in the movie even hit home. He said something like " it is not how hard you can hit but how long you can take the hits and keep on getting up for more."
Came home and go t E t o download the Rocky song to put on my ipod for the run today.
Have a great day everyone....
Completed run, alive and well. Will update with pics later. Feeling tired but proud.
Posted by michelle ::
11:12 am ::
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