Tuesday, May 31, 2005
I'm Back!!!! Ready To Blog.
Hi everyone. Well my holiday has turned into 3 weeks of binging, little exercise and lots of thinking about getting back on track. One of the things I need to admit is that I really want this blog and to build up blog friendships with people but I find every excuse not to post in it or in others. Why is this??
I think some of the reasons are:
- Too busy..work..home..kids
..(so is everyone)-One crisis after another makes my life sound like one whinge
..(deal with it)-So exhausted
..(very true but not helped by overeating and no exercise)-No privacy..I don't want my family reading this so always put it off till I won't be interrupted, at which time the exhaustion stops me.
(just do it )-Can't type..it is so time consuming fixing up all my typos. The ex teacher in me hates spelling mistakes but my use of the keyboard is very frustrating for me.
(practice)-don't want to post when I am failing at weight loss
( so what? that is what this is for to share ups and downs)-new to blogging. don't kno who wto add items of interest to blog
.(learn)-don't think anyone would want to read my thoughts and share this journey.
( but I enjoy reading theirs) OK I am going to commit today to posting every day even if it is only short. Hope some of you can share with me and I promise to stop stalking in yours but to leave comments so you will know I care. Oh yeh thanks Megan.. this post is due to you and your chat today.
Until tomorrow have a good one!!!!
Posted by michelle ::
9:17 pm ::
3 comments
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Monday, May 16, 2005
OFF TO PERTH
Sorry haven't been good at blogging this week. Had to get a lot of work done before going away TODAY!!. Soemhow all my good intentions went off the rails Sun night and I started overeating. No real reason why but once I started couldn't stop. Did go to kickboxing yesterday and to a talk on nutrition last night but still came home and ate chips and chocolate. Anyway I am in holiday mode so I will allow myself this until next Sat then I must get back on track.
MUST MUST MUST.
Lots to get done at home as well as work so that family can cope while I am away..only 3 days but still lots to organise. I am so looking forward to a break from here even if it is only a short one. LIfe has been so demanding lately.. well actually it always is. Well bye for now . Will catch up at weekend.
Posted by michelle ::
2:41 pm ::
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Thursday, May 12, 2005
WEIGH IN
Well I bit the bullet as they say and went to a meeting after missing my last 2. I only put on 700g which was very good considering how off the rails I had been with all the stress of Ebonys illness. Now I need to keep on track over the weekend, always my difficult time, and go to weigh in next Monday night. I almost drove to McD after weighin. I was half an hour early to pick up Ebs from soccer and the whole way there I had an argument with myself in the car. The tired me said "go on it won't hurt you haven't had many points." the motivated me said "it always starts with one little slip. Do you want to feel good about yourself next week." As you can imagine argument went backwards and forwards. I resisted and came home and made a tuna rice casserole for my dinner and for lunch at work tomorrow. I am very proud of the thinner me who won the argument.
Have been sick all day and then had a gross incident after school. Took Ebs shopping and was standing there when all of a sudden whoosh..it was as if I had wet myself but blood. Luckily I had black trousers on. I was scared to move because it was everywhere. Never happened before, no warning except for having such bad pains all day. Ebs was very worried. I had to assure her that it was normal for menopause. Think thats right...not really sure. Definitely hope it doesn't happen again. Can anyone who has been through menopause give me any advice? I better get to bed. Have to be up at 5 for weight training and then a long day with these awful client meetings at work.
Posted by michelle ::
6:22 am ::
3 comments
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Wednesday, May 11, 2005
THURSDAY- A NEW DAY-back on the journey
Well now that Ebony seems to be getting better I need to take myself in hand and get back on to the weight loss journey. I have done some serious overeating over the last 2 weeks which has to stop now. I am going to go to a WW meeting tonight to get a weigh in back on record. I will probably have put on about 1kg. Would have been worse if I had gone last week. I then have the challenge of continuing to track and go to weigh in Mon night. Hopefully to lose a little more. I am going away for a few days on Tues to Perth. I know I will indulge while away and plan to do so..will post about this trip another day. This is a trip I deserve and I plan to enjoy it and then work off the consequences when I get back.
I am so behind at work and have major deadlines to meet for a big meeting tomorrow. Problem is I am having really bad cramps and am having trouble concentrating. Early stages of menopause are hitting me this last couple of months. oh the joys of womanhood. Ebony says she has a pact with my body and while she doesn't get her period I get double. Motherly love. She thinks it is very fair. She is so happy at the moment and we are very fortunate.
She has majpor social plans for the weeekend..a party on Friday night where there will be alcohol!! She is growing up. I know that she won't drink but it is still scary as a mum to let her go. Then movies and a sleep over with her new friend on Sat. Ebony has had her confidence shaken by some incidents with her old best friend who was very bitchy so she is opening herself up to make new friends. On top of all this she has work, tennis Sat morning, soccer sunday and lots of homework. We will get through it someohow. Seems I get to help with a lot of homework lately.
Well I better get back to work. Thanks everyone for sharing my blog.
Posted by michelle ::
7:20 pm ::
2 comments
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Tuesday, May 10, 2005
TEST RESULTS-- A LONG LONG WEEK
Thanks to everyone who read my post and commented. It really helped.This has definitely been a long and hard week, but the news is all good. I should have posted before now but life was very stressful adn nothing seemed important except Ebony. I took Ebony off for her Ultrasound and that took 40 minutes. During that time staring at the images of 2 lumps in her neck I was becoming very scared. She seemed so small and vulnerable laying on the table and I had visions of all the horrible things that might be in store for her. They consulted with a specialist who decided not to proceed with the Biopsy. That was a very welcome surprise. On the basis of the images and his experience he decided we should wait a week to see if the lumps started to get smaller. We then had to go see our own doctor. Ebony opted to see a different one to the one that had started the ball rolling with this diagnosis. He had been unavailbale when the problem first started. He gave her a very thorough exam and found many more lumps in her armpits. He agreed with the specialist though that it was most likely from an infection, not Hodgkins Disease as the first Dr had suggested! He said it may take 4 weeks to get better but as long as the lumps do not get bigger or painful it is OK. Well yesterday they started to go down. We have to watch her and her lumps carefully but thank goodness she should be fine. She is relieved and wants no more Drs visits or tests in the near future. This was a hard time and I felt so very helpless. I have always known how important my children are to me and this certainly brought it home hard. Funny how trivial everything else seemed. Thanks again for your support.
Posted by michelle ::
4:02 am ::
4 comments
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A LITTLE BIT LIGHTER MAY 2005
10kg lost 
Posted by michelle ::
3:53 am ::
3 comments
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Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Blood Tests
Just rang the Dr for Ebony's blood test results. She does not have Glandular Fever or Thyroid Problems. SHIT!! Next possibility is Hodgkins Disease, ie cancer of the lymph nodes. This cannot happen. It is totally unacceptable that my baby has to go through a biopsy, cancer, treatments etc. There must be something easier to deal with. She is 15 and just going through puberty with all that entails. She does not deserve to have anything bad happen to her. She is a sweet, innocent, beautiful child and I want her to stay that way not be dragged into a nightmare. There must be something minor like an infection that will go away in 2 weeks!! I don't know how to get through tonight let alone anything else. Of course my husband is away on work for a few days..not that he would be any support anyway. This world is seriously ****** up if she has to suffer.
Posted by michelle ::
9:42 pm ::
7 comments
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Monday, May 02, 2005
My daughter
At the weekend my daughter Ebony discovered lumps under her chin and armpit. We went to the Dr yesterday and she ordered blood tests and an ultrasound and possible biopsy. Of course my daughterwho is 15 is terrified. We had the blood test and are hoping it will show that she has glandular fever. The ultrasound and biopsy is booked for Thursday. We went shopping..retail therapy and joked around but it is very frightening. Wasn't funny when she said "maybe I am dying." It will be a long time till Thursday. Of course I resorted to food and have eaten everything in sight. Don't care about that at the moment. When I rang my husband to tell him his answer was "couldn't this have waited till I got home." He is such a jerk!! My office person rang in sick today so I have to be at work all day.. Hopefully he will stay in the factory. I don't want to talk to him at the moment. Problem is there is noone here..just me and my thoughts. My children are my most treasured and loved things to me and the thought of her having to have a biopsy let alone what it is looking for terrifies me. Then there is the fact that when I went to the Dr over a week ago she ordered tests for me to see if I may have cancer of the stomach. Of course I haven't been for these. Am waiting for the right time when I am ready.
Posted by michelle ::
4:26 pm ::
2 comments
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