Monday, June 27, 2005
WEIGH IN
Went to a different meeting tonight because I will be away tomorrow night. So after 6 days I lost 1.3. Obviously eating a little bit more and not giving up did help. I have now lost 13.1 and I am a 70's girl. I am really pleased. Had a rough day at work today where everything seemed to go wrong. Probably wasn't helped by my rushing to get things done before the 30th June. Very bad timing for going away but it was the only time I could get all 3 kids together. Trenton works at Village Cinemas in the evenings so holiday times are very busy. I have cooked lots of low point food for our trip so I just have to be strong and resist temptation for the yummy, warm take away food that will be sold on the mountain. I think I have decided to have a little try at snowboarding. If you hear any news reports of short, older, not so fat, not so skinny, uncordinated women falling down Mt Buller you will know who it is. Will catch up with you all on Saturday. Have a good week everyone and stay positive.
Posted by michelle ::
2:58 am ::
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Saturday, June 25, 2005
SHOPPING
My exercise today consisted of shopping and lots of it. My daughter is going away on a school ski camp in 2 weeks and has to hav enew clothes to go. She has saved some money towards it from her job and is building up a big IOU to mum for some of it. After her tennis lesson we went shopping and had a lovelytime together. She used her new Eftpos card for the first time and had great pleasure in buying some things for herself. She paid me th eloveliest compliment when we were in one shop without realising it. We were looking at clothes for me and we went towards the "bigger ladies section" She turned me around and said " you don't need to shop in that section anymore." Made me feel really good.
On Tuesday after work I am going with my 3 children to stay at our caravan which is 20 minutes from Mt Buller. The children will be snowboarding and I will be watching. Ebony is really excited and we have been watching the weather forecasts wishing for snow for weeks. I am really looking forward to the time with my children all together. I said at training how nice it was to see my children all playing together at Shannons birthday dinner. One of the people there scoffed at me and said "but theyare all grown up. Surely they don't play together." He has young children. When his children are older he will understand the pleasure a parent gets from seeing her "grown up children" playing together.
Thank you to everyone and their comments re my accident. They really cheered me up. As expected yesterday was a horrendous day at work and I even made a few mistakes which didn't help. (like charging one customer $33,000 instead of $330. Can't understand why he didn't want to pay it.) Anyway it really made mefeel good when I jumped on the INET to quickly look at my blog and all those friends were there with nice words. Thanks.
I am feeling a bit off today and I am really sore. Don't know if it is a bit of whiplash or from my weight training. Will see tomorrow. I have to work late each night until I go to the snow so that isn't helping. Will catch up with all your blogs tomorrow hopefully.
Posted by michelle ::
3:15 am ::
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Thursday, June 23, 2005
CRASH
Dragged myself out of bed and went to weight training this morning. Only 2 of us turned up so we actually had to work quite hard or else the trainer really notices. Then on my way home I see lights close behind/beside me and then CRASH!!!! Car actually moved sideways. I stopped the car, swearing to myself. The other driver got out, in her dressing gown, and said "sorry" and started to cry. So I put my arm around her and said "that's ok. Look we are both OK. " She wanted to chang elanes and just did so, into me. I drive a Landcruiser and luckily it looks like only the rear bumper is wrecked. Her front left passenger light area is wrecked. It was very scarey and we were both shaking. I just knew how lucky we were because we were driving at 90-100km/hr and if either of our cars had lost control and hit cars coming behind us?? Anyway bad start to the day but could have been worse. should hav estayed in bed. Have a big day at work today with lots of pressure. Just don't need this and now having to deal with insurance company, and getting quotes etc.
Posted by michelle ::
2:16 pm ::
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005
NOT ENOUGH POINTS
Well I went and weighed in and had lost 400g. Now I know I should be pleased with this but I was really disappointed. I have done so much exercise this week and been so good. I had a talk to the leader and confessed that most days I only eat 15-17 points. She has advised me that I need to eat more. I have known this intellectually but I get too scared to eat more. I am such an all or nothing person and I am either super strict or I overeat. I am going to really try to eat more this week and see what happens. I know that in the long term I need to be able to eat more and maintain or I will just put the weight back on. Of course being cranky last night I overate and then was up feeling sick all night so now the thought of food repels me. Anyway had a high fibre breakfast and have packed a healthy casserole and fruit for lunch today. I'm off no wto have my second test for glaucoma because I failed the first one! Have a goo dday everyone and thankyou, thankyou for the lovely comments re my letter to my son. I still get teary when I reread it an dyour comments were really appreciated. Of course being a boy he has said nothing about the letter.
Posted by michelle ::
3:48 pm ::
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Monday, June 20, 2005
ME..the real me
Thought I would share with you this letter to my son. It says a lot about who I am and may help you understand one of the reasons I feel depressed at times..simply I need to be needed by my children and I found it really difficult when Shannon moved out into his own home.
Dear Shannon,
It will soon be your 23rd birthday and I need to tell you a few things. Not for you, because you don’t need to hear things from me at this age…. an age where you are well and truly a man in your own right.
Firstly and very importantly I am so very, very proud of you. When I held you in my arms 23 years ago I dreamed of things for you. Those dreams did not involve riches or material things but that you would grow into a good person, a person who could be happy and enjoy life. You have done that.
You have always made me proud in your achievements and in your quiet manner of just getting on with things without whingeing or complaint. You have made wise choices and pulled yourself back up after life has knocked you down. My wish for you is that this attitude to life continues.
And yet I worry so much about you Shannon. On a television show last week they said to define your identity. I thought long and hard about this and mine is to be a mother. All the other things; .being a wife, a business person, a daughter, a teacher are all background for being a mother. I have not been perfect at it and those other things, especially business, have intruded many times, but in my inner being the most important thing has always been to be a mother. With that I have worried about every one of your endeavours, every one of your efforts and adventures and every one of your falls. That worrying does not stop because you are a man. It is with me every moment of the day.
Now you have left home and we joke about my need for you to call, to visit, to keep me involved, but that need is very real. I need to still be a part of your life and I need for you to still need me. And yes, I need for you to show me that and to show me you love me . This then validates me as a mother and helps me through those times when I am just simply missing my little boy who once thought I was the most important person in his world.
Go on with your life Shannon knowing you have me behind you trying not to push but to guide you in the right directions.
Be a proud but not arrogant man.
Be a content but not bitter man.
Be a worker but not a slave to your work
Work at life and it will work for you
Be a lover but more importantly a partner
Be a father…in every sense of the word and what it can encompass
Be patient and wise
Be flexible and tolerant
Be caring and compassionate
Be forgiving
Live a life that you will be proud to look back on when you are old.
And remember I love you………
…………………..………………..Your mum.
Posted by michelle ::
3:45 pm ::
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Saturday, June 18, 2005
My sons band. 
Posted by michelle ::
6:35 pm ::
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My son Shannon
Posted by michelle ::
6:31 pm ::
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My son and his girlfriend last night
Posted by michelle ::
6:31 pm ::
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MY TIME TRIAL
Well girls I did it. I rolled up with myMP3 player and lots of trepidation. We get sent off at staggered times and I actually passed 5 women!!!!!! Only one who started behind me passed me and she is really fit. Luckily my hamstring only hurt a little bit. What did hurt was my throat which burns whenever I run and my shins which were killing me . I still walked most of it but ran more and whenI walked it was as fast as I could. One women who I overtook stayed fairly close behind me so she in one way urged me on because I did not want her to overtake me. I took off about 3 min from my last time. I was so pleased...exhausted all day..but really pleased with myself. Will get official time in the morning. I was on such a high that when I took my daughter to her friends I went for a 10 minute run/walk around the mini lake near their house. I used M's one more tree method and actually ran about half of it. I might make this my mini track and try to go a few times a week try to improve my stamina for running.
Had my sons party last night and I did not eat or drink anything except a glass of water. It was enough of a high to see him so happy sharing his house with his friends. His girlfriend did food and cake all, my old roles, and that was Ok for me. He has a band and they performed which made me very proud. we left by midnight so he could be a hoon if he wanted. He dedicated one of the songs to his g/f and that was so sweet. Will post some pictures later today.
Posted by michelle ::
4:20 pm ::
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Friday, June 17, 2005
MY UNDIES ARE TOO BIG
Feeling disappointed today because the scales don't seem to be shifting this week. I know I had one bad day where I overate but I am still well below allowed points when all the days are put together. I still have the problem where I need to be rewarded constantly by the scales going down. I need to be more accepting and look at the long term. As Sue said I am a third of the way there. I hadn't thought of it that way. Anyway today I realised that although I don't feel like I have lost a lot of weight in the past few months I have changed sizes. Some of my undies are just way too big SO that 's my measure of success for today. I came home and tried on a jumper that I bought a few weeks ago in a smaller size. I thought I would probably have to return it. But it fits! So I am going to wear it to my sons party tomorrow night. The scales really are just one form of measure after all. I have bought quite a few new articles of clothing over thepast two weeks and all from "normal" size shops. Some of them are a bit tight but I am being optimistic. I wholeheartedly agree with Anne that it makes you feel so good to be able to shop and find clothes that fit.
My sons party is a combined birthday and housewarming. He has a band and they will be playing. We are only invited for part of the night because he wants to let his hair down an dnot feel we are watching him. He absolutely loves his house and this is a very special night for him to share it with his friends. I am looking forward to it. He has insisted that I am not allowed to do the mum thing..no cleaning, no food preparation. Showing his independence.
I went to fitball this morning and I am making myself go to the time trials in the morning. I am very worried about that because of my poor running ability. I just don't want to come last and I want to beat my time from my previous trial. Well I can only try.
Posted by michelle ::
3:05 am ::
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Thursday, June 16, 2005
This is my beautiful daughter Ebony. We received a letter from the Dr today reminding us to go in for a checkup after her suspected Hodgins disease 6-8 weeks ago. Of course that was the trigger that set me off the track and on the weight incline. Didn't care about my weight when I was scared for her health.Reminded me what I have to be thankful for. Isn't she beautiful.. Of course the braces photo was about 18 months ago. The rest are within the past 6 months. She is in Year 10 at school and plays soccer and tennis this year. This takes her out for sport 5 times a week!! She used to do even more but cut back a bit this year and gave up basketball. She is alovely child and I am fortunate that she has stayed relatively young.. not into makeup, boys (much) She is against smoking and drinking so I am very fortunate so far her adolescence is relatively painless.
Had a good day food wise but no exercise. Will go to fitball at 6 in the morning. Hopefully my hamstring will be less sore. I really want to attempt the runnng time trial on Saturday morning.
I have played around with my blog and am pleased to have been able to add links to my friends. Thanks for the help Kim.
I felt like a good boss today. It is 12 months since my office person came to work for us. I took in some beautiful flowers for her and gave her a good pay rise. I hope that helps to make her feel happy in her job with us.
All your messages helped me pull myself out of yesterdays slump. Thank you everyone. Now I have to keep it up for the weekend to try to get under that 80k mark.
Posted by michelle ::
2:57 am ::
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Wednesday, June 15, 2005
DERAILED
Hi everyone.
Well I went to water aerobics last night. I was quite disappointed because the woman who asked me to go with her didn't turn up. She has done this sort of thing to me before so I shouldn't be surprised, but surely a phone call wouldn't have hurt. A big part of why I agreed to go was for the socialiasing. But I bit the bullet and went anyway. I didn't know anyone but that was OK. I enjoyed it but found some of it quite tiring. I had allowed myself to have a lovely dinner of Chicken Wellington so I needed the exercise to help work it off. Got up at 5.00am to go to my cardio session. It was freezing. When we started our run though I had trouble running. So much for my newly found running confidence. I had had a sore leg the day before and when I started running it really hurt. The trainer said it was my hamstring and I should try to run though it. Every step was agony so I stopped trying to run and walked instead. Felt like such a failure with everyone else running. Oh well a 60 minute walk is still good. Just has me worried for the Saturday time trial and made me feel such a loser.
Then had hassles with mum. She had her assessment today and refused to go to rehabilitation. So she is being discharged tomorrow. This means she will go home with her "hubby" where she will again sit in her chair almost 24/7 and thus she will again become weaker. It will only be a matter of time before she will be back in hospital.
Of course when I got home, in between phonecalls with family and getting told how I should handle mum, I sat and ate everything I could find. Even when I picked up Ebony from school I offerred to get KFC. This is after telling her not to ask me for takeaway over recent weeks. Same old triggers, same old response. Oh yeh and then I got my period and as I seem to be entering menopause it is predictably being a pain!!
Anyway this needs to be my one off day this week. My train may have been temporarily derailed but tomorrow is another day, another part of the journey. I must pick myself up and put myself back on the right track.
Posted by michelle ::
12:02 am ::
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005
BACK ON TRACK
All that exercise had the desired effect and I lost 1.7. After looking at my stats I realise that for the last 6 weeks I have gone up and down. I am determined not to go back up so I have made myself some short term goals.
1. Lose 1.4 put on last week (over 3 weeks really) ACHIEVED
2. Lose 1.3 to get me under 80.0 (will be lowest weight in 2 1/2 years)
3. Lose something for each week for the next month
(at which stage I am going away for a week)
4. Get down to 75 kg
To get to these goals I need to;
1. Track my food every day
2. Drink 1 litre water a day (something I never do)
3. Exercise 5 out of 7 days each week
4. Keep attending running sessions at least once a week.
SO here goes.. can I get to the second goal in one week or two or three??? It's up to me.
ONLY I CAN DO IT!
Thanks to everyone for their lovely posts. I now feel like blogging is worth it because it makes me feel so positive when I open my blog and someone has left a nice comment. I am also enjoying reading lots of others and it reinforces that I am not alone and that many other people go up and down. TOGETHER WE CAN DO IT
Thanks to Margaret for helping me get my ticker onto my blog. Well now I'm off to Aqua thanks to Anne.
Posted by michelle ::
1:14 am ::
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Monday, June 13, 2005
I RAN 5KM WELL ALMOST!
After a wonderful Sunday I dragged myself out of bed when the alarm went off at5.20am to go to my training session. On Mondays we do kick boxing which I have come to love so I was looking forward to it. When I got there only 2 of us had turned up even though the whole group had committed to come (public holiday) There was I, 5'1" and there was the other person a very fit male at least 6'1'. The trainer said there was no way we could do kick boxing because we would be hitting in all the wrong places... me at his knees, him over my head... She then said the words I dread "Michelle what about if we go for a run?" SHOCK. HORROR. Now let me explain. Until I joined this training group in Jan I had never ran. I told the trainer I could not run and she said no problem. Of course then I found that we always run a little to warm up and a lot of little runs when we do cardio sessions. Then I found out that every 6 weeks we do a Time Trial of 4kms. I did the first one and have managed to avoid them ever since.. It was terrible and I hated it although I did feel good afterwards.
So my dilemma..how could I refuse. So we ran and walked..more walked than ran..but I ran more thanI have ever in my life. The trainer and the man were very encouraging. It took about 40 minutes and I was sure I would collapse at the end but I did it. So then I promised I will go again on Wed for cardio training and then on SAT.. dare I say it for a time trial. I will have to arrange a ride for Ebony (my usual reason why I can't go because I never miss her tennis) to do it but I promised so I will have to. ( I am sure the inspiration from the bloggers who were running made me promise.) Then today I bought an MP3 player to help me when I am running.. theory is good anyway.
Had a really good weekend. We had dinner at my sons house last night with all the family. ( I cooked the meal) It was a very happy time and I enjoyed watching the kids and my hubby playing together (table tennis and x-box.) We had a lot of laughs. My son is 23 today and such a wonderful young man having such a wonderful time with his life. I am very very lucky. On the weight track I have been really good..eating about 18 points a day and exercising almost every day. Weigh in is tomorrow night. Feeling in control again.
bye for now.
Posted by michelle ::
1:40 am ::
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Friday, June 10, 2005
MY Mum
I haven't posted about what is going on with my mum because I don't want people to think I am looking for sympathy. Sometimes my life feels like a soap opera..one crisis after another. I am not feeling "poor me" just busy rushing through it all and trying to cope when it does get me down. My mother has always been dependent on me to care for her. She is a fragile soul who does not cope with life at all. Both a hypochondriac and now having some serious illnesses. (hence my aversion to going to Dr) Two years ago she married a man she barely knew. He is schizophrenic and bullys and at times abuses her. Last year I "rescued her " 3 times from him at her request. At the last time he tried to hit me and I even had to get my eldest son to come and help. Each time she went back to him. We had an argument over this..my first real time I have been mean to her. Since then I have reduced my contact with them, something I found very difficult to do. I was riddled with guilt but I simply could not take anymore of it and could not bare to be in a room with him. I still kept paying her bills and ringing her but only took her out twice in 6 months. Then 10 days ago she had a really bad fall, apparently the sixth in 2 months!!! She was unable to walk and I arranged for her to go into hospital. That hospital moved her to one that specialsies in geriatric care. She is covered in bruises and cannot get up to go to the toilet or shower. She also has a serious blood condition (for the past 8 years slowly getting worse) and over the last 2 days had to have 2 urgent blood transfusions. Last week the Dr told her she could not go home but would need to go to rehabilitaion. She refused and her husband and a friend who helps care for her said they could look after her. I was not there at the time. They then rang me that night to tell me there was no way they could care for her ( I understand this because I would not be able to either) but why didn't they tell her that instead of getting her hopes up. The next morning I had to rush from work to the hospital. She greeted me with; "Guess what I am going home onFriday." I had to tell her she was not and explain about rehab. She abused me and the discharge nurse and it was really sad. Then the nurse told me there is a long wait for rehab so she may have to go to respite. She said mum needed an assessment and may not be accepted at respite due to her high level of dependency. This will occur next week. When I told her the asessment would be next week on Thursday she again swore and carried on calling the nurses a pack of b******s. This made me angry because they have been really good to her and that is a very bad way to behave (copying her hubby). She weighs 120k and cannot lift herself at all. They have a lot to contend with.
Visits to her are a nightmare but I still go every day. It has made work hard because I have to rush out mid-morning and it is 40 min away. But, I still go every day because I know it is horrible for her. I leave there upset and swearing to myself and then have to go back to work with a positive attitude. I have 2 sisters and a brother. My sisters do not work but only one of them, my good friend, has been to see her once! There are always reasons why it is not convenient for them to visit. (yes I feel resentful)
So I have to cope with;
trying to find the time to visit her,
trying to get through the visits especially when he is there and I just want to hit him!
trying to make the right decisions with the medical staff,
trying to help find her a place to go that will be best for her,
trying not to worry about what the future has in store for her,
trying to cope with the worry of seeing my mum, who I really do love being in such a bad way.
trying to think of the best way to help her,
trying not to get mad with my siblings and so on and so on. Thank goodness I have started this blog because it has helped. In the past I would have just bottled this all up inside and told no one. That is how I have coped in the past.. of course then turned to food a comfort.
Thanks everyone for listening.
Posted by michelle ::
10:51 pm ::
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Tuesday, June 07, 2005
FEELING GOOD NOW FEELING BAD
I went and weighed in and I had put on1.4. This was not too bad considering myover eating of the past few weeks. Now my goal is to lose that 1.4 and then another 1.4 to be a 70s girl.
I went to cardio at 6am this morning and it was sooooo hard. I am not a runner and I don't know how you runners do it. I avoid the sessions when there is running and haven't actually been to one for about 6 weeks. So I bit the bullet this morning. When I got there the trainer said today was going to be really intense. The activity varied every few minutes or I would never have been able to complete it. I pushed myself and completed most tasks..just can't manage the skipping and some of the stepups on the bench seats. I am very uncoordinated at it. Thought I was going to collapse near the end. Just kept thinking of my new motto..Oh yeh I haven't posted about it here. A lady at the WW class said...don't say I can't do it.. say ONLY I CAN DO IT... I kept repeating that to myself as I was sprinting, skipping, etc.
Had a very bad few days with my mum. I will post about it tomorrow. Then this happened;
Yesterday while I was at the hospital with mum I got a call from my office girls boyfriend asking could she have some time off so he could take her hot air ballooning today. I had to rush outside the hospital to take the call and I was in the middle of some heavy stuff with her (another post) I don't go into the office on Wed. I asked if it had to be today ..he said yes. I had appointments all day and said when can you have her back, as I had tests in the afternoon. I said I would cancel my morning appointments. He said lunch time. She came in at 12 and said he had proposed in the balloon. Wonderful. Then she got cranky because she had to come in this afternoon on "such a special day." I said "he didn't ask for the day off or tell me he was proposing." She said because you have a doctors appointment and then turned away and sulked. Now at the last minute I cancelled my blood tests booked this morning, couldn't get to hospital to see mum, cancelled an11am appointment elsewhere and rushed in to cover for her. My appointment this afternoon was with a specialist ..apparently I should have read his mind and told him to take her for the whole day. Then the phones would have been uncovered in the afternoon when I had to pick up Ebony and My mother-in-law. I thought I was being a good person and a good boss but now I feel really bad about it.
I really feel bad for "ruining" her special day. Of course then the urge comes to eat.. have settled for a diet mousse. But am tempted!! I have this problem with my personality where I want to please everyone and be liked. Now I am stewing. I will probably worry all night. I rang my hubby and said should I divert the phones after my test and let her go home early. he said no she is being childish. He won't worry at all!
Had my test and my left eye failed..said I may be losing vision in it.. glaucoma? Have to repeat test next week. Of course I still haven't had other tests I am suppposed to have for other things. I had psyched myself into blood test this morning, then cancelled it because of the above. I must have it tomorrow before I go to work!!! (NOTE TO MYSELF)
I am very emotional at moment. Oh well nearly school pickup time and then lots to do.
Posted by michelle ::
9:45 pm ::
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Monday, June 06, 2005
Ok I have been really good for 5 days now....exercising and tracking. Problem is that I got on the scales this morning and I weighed more than I did on Sunday morning. Even though I have exercised each day and had only about 18 points a day. My first reaction was to go "what the hell I might as well have had those things I resisted eating." I then ate a large breakfast 5 points and thought it through a bit. Then I got stuck into some housework and vacuumed the whole house and cleaned out the freezer. I have a spare half hour now before tennis and then into the mad rush of work and hospital visit, school pick up etc.
In the mail yesterday I got one of the forms from the WW leader saying I could come back without paying rejoining fee. I had planned to go back when I lost the weight I had put on in the lst few weeks..(4kg) but I have decided that if my husband can pick Ebony up from soccer tonight I will go tonight and accept the gain and then I can feel good about myself if I lose next week instead of being mad about the fact that I am not as light as I was a month ago. I had lost a total of 12 kg and was really pleased . Then I went down to a 8kg loss and was very cranky about it. Of course I had enjoyed all the dining out I had done to get that increase. Then by being good this week I have lost some but not enough for my warped psyche!! I need the instant reward of seeing the scales going down each day. Well they have gone down this week over last week so I need to feel good about that instead of being down because they went up a bit this morning. I am rambling I know just trying to convince myself.
well I better get going. Exercise calls.
Have a good day everyone.
Posted by michelle ::
4:30 pm ::
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Friday, June 03, 2005
It Hurst But it Is Good.
Well I enjoyed my night off last night. Had yummy lasagne for tea.. a brand called Romeo something? only 5.5 points per serve. Read and napped an did the chauffeur thing. Woke up this morning feeling refreshed but could hardly move due to all those crunches on the fitball with weights yesterday morning. Because I had time off my body is not used to the workout. For a moment I actually thought something was wrong with me . Then I remembered it was from the exercise and the pain was OK.
Had to take Ebony to tenns this morning . It was freezing. I resisted all the urges to buy a H.Dog or chocolate. It was a long three hours watching without some food for comfort but i did it..an dthey won.. We then stopped an ddid some healthy grocery shopping so I could stay on track. Just made vegetable soup to warm us up, pumpkin risotto for tomorrow and chicken satay for my sons tea tonight.
We are going out for dinner and a card night tonight so I have to be really strict today with point to allow me to enjoy my friends cooking.
Tomorrow morning I am leaving at 7am to go into the city for a mini olympics between training clubs..should be lots of laughs and of course some exercise! Hence why I made the risotto so that when I get home I have something nice to eat. Weekends are usually my worse time for overeating so I need to really organised.
Thanks everyone for their comments . I promise to visit all your blogs and reciprocate soon. Togetehr we can achieve more!! Loss that is.
Now I need to get into the housework that I have let get behind this week an dget to teh hospital fo rmy daily visit. At least mum will be getting better each day.
Bye
have a good weekend everyone.
Posted by michelle ::
8:58 pm ::
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Thursday, June 02, 2005
DAY 2 OF THE GOOD ME
Ok so another day into my new way of thinking. So far have planned and tracked. Feeling hungry but that is because I have got used to eating more. Went to see mum between training courses. Her XRays come back all clear so that is really good news. She was a lot cheerier today too. I am really pleased about the new program we are putting on at work. Bit of a challenge, which I love, and I can see already that it will make things easier. I went to fitball training this morning at 6am. It was really fun. Think I might be sore tomorrow. I have increased my weights to 4kg each and they felt very heavier after not using them for three weeks.We are going to a Mini olympics on Sunday between training centres. Don't think we will win any medals but we will have a lot of laughs I'm sure. Except for driving and picking up Ebony from a friends, tonight I have the night off. I think I will curl up with a good book...what bliss..Well I better get back to work.
Have a good one..
Posted by michelle ::
9:27 pm ::
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MY MUM AND MOTIVATION
My mum had a fall on Monday and yesterday I arranged for her to go into hospital because she still couldn't manage to walk to the toilet, sit up or lay down without being in really bad pain. She was hysterical and her husband couldn't look after her. After a long day she was moved from one hospital to another. The ambulance could not get her out of the Ambulance because of her weight. I helped her to go to thetoilet an dliterally struggled to lift her to sit or stand up. Today when the nurse showered her she got stuck in the shower seat. Now obviously my mum is a very large woman an dshe is getting larger each month. Apart from how I feel about her being sick/injured again (another day I will explain) I came home thinking "Do I want to end up like that?" So today I started tracking and talking to the fat me about what the future holds if I don't take some control over my lifestyle. Now I have to get through the next few days until my head gets used to allowing me to only eat within my point allowance. Its awful to use my mum smisery as motivation but it has given me quite a shock and wake up call.
Do I want to not be able to move freely?
Do I want the humiliation/problem of people not being able to move me if needed?
Do I want to get stuck in chairs? and so on and so on....
Nightmare material.
Posted by michelle ::
2:17 am ::
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