feedmysoul

Thanks for the support everyone. I went to the police on Friday and they are going to speak to the DH. Interesting now he is trying to change the story to it being a female who made the calls. Police were interested in that as they have it on record that he said it was 2 young males. Have kept having calls from mums family and friends advising what I should do. I keep telling them I am doing nothing! This is it for me. Mum claims to my elder sister that she didn't know he was going to the police. BS of course, but in any case don't care. She brought this scum into our lives and we have had 4 years of hell with him and with her. The past 6 weeks have been a never ending nightmare, ( one of 8 periods in the 4 years when she has left him and then gone back) She nearly ruined the engagement party by choosing that day to have a fight with her carer and return to him again. Of course at least that day I finally let loose and told her she needed psychiatric help! That offended her and she told me to get out of her life so now I have. Of course she has now told people how we have mistreated her but I know in my head everyone who knows her knows the truth. Still this is more pain. The head and the heart react differently. I am feeling heart broken. This is my mum and she is an invalid and I lie awake at night picturing her living in a pigsty, crying and miserable. I won't give in though.
Yesterday I tried to have a nap as I had not slept all week, actuallyfor about 3 weeks now. As I was drifting back I thought I heard a knock at the door. Of course I worried it might be trouble but ignored it. I fell asleep and had another vivid terrifying nightmare where he and his schizo family came into my bedroom and attacked me. And my friends and family kept giving me advice and telling me what to do but not helping. In the end I grabbed my Dh and my sisters Dh and told them to order them out of my house. They did and the crowd turned into a screaming frenzy with thugs attacking us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course then I woke up with a blinding headache. Shows though how scared I am of the situation.

My Dh took me to the movies last night which was great escapism. Then tried to get an early night only to be woken by a call form DS2 asking me to pick him up. Did this only to find he couldn't tell me exactly how to find the house and as I had no glasses with me I couldn't find it in the Melways. Drove around the estate for 25 mins then stumbled on the street. Came home at 12.30 wide awake and couldn't sleep. Ended up in front of the Tv and then got ready at 5.30 for the big bike ride.

The girl that had asked me to do it had backed out but my son who couldn't do it due to work changed his country job to yesterday and came with me. That was wonderful. As you know I only started riding in Oct last year for the triathalons but I have been going to cycle classes for the past 3 weeks. I was worried whether I could get over the bridge without stopping, especially as my anke doesn't allow me to stand up and pedal on the hills. BUT I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY. Thought I would never make it. Let me tell you that is one giant hill but I was determined and although I slowed right down near the top I didn't stop. My son waited at the top for me and we raced down at 40km/hr. Felt like a kid again. I loved it. Towards the end I struggled with a few hills but again managed to NOT stop. Last 3kms I sprinted home and completed the 30km course in 1hr 50 minutes. WE passed hundreds of people. Not bad for an almost 50 year old used to be fat/unfit woman. My son said he was impressed with me!!! Thank goodness for the cycle classes at the gym. AND of course the best part, I did it with my son. AND he said he will do it again next year. Best thing that has happened around here for a while (except for the engagement of course.)