feedmysoul

I need to find me and in the process look after the me that I want to take into my future.
  • Reading other peoples journals has inspired me to try one for my own. Perhaps I can lose weight and find the inner me.
  • It is time to feed my soul not my body.
  • Saturday, July 29, 2006

    PLAN FOR SUCCESS

    This has been a busy week where I managed to keep sane by getting really stuck into the exercise. The weekly effort included; kickboxing class, boxing circuit class, tennis, pump class, weight sessions x 2, 3 x running session. Last Sat we had our time trials and I knocked 1 1/2 minutes off my time for 4km. I have to say I was ready to throw up at the end, a sensation I have never had before. Trainer said I was really pushing it. I still cannot run long distances without stopping but at least I walk fast!! I can now run 2km without stopping but it requires a lot of mental effort as I have to keep urging myself on.

    Despite some worrying things happening I have tried to stay positive this week. I have managed to call some friends just to say hi and that helped me not to feel so guilty about avoiding everyone. I was rewarded with some compliments which for once I felt like maybe, just maybe, I deserved them. At training on Friday the trainer called me skinny and instead of replying with a negative comment about my still existing pudge I said "I Know"

    Last night we went to a surprise 50th birthday and there was a woman there, (who is not very nice) who has not seen me for 2 years. She ignored me but then told her soon to be DIL that she could not believe it was me because of all the weight I had lost. We did not know most of the people there and it was funny because they were asking who we were and were told "T's boss." Of course then we were checked out more and I was able to sit proudly. I know I would have been cringing and wanting to disappear in the past. This is a much better feeling and I need to remember it for those moments when motivation is lacking.

    Today I am off to the city to meet Ails for lunch, (After I go to rebound class to shake off the dessert from last night!) And of course it is only 2 weeks till the Sydney get together. Now that is exciting. I am going to persevere with the challenge to exercise everyday and stay on track with my eating and hopefully the scales will start to shift downwards. They are down on the past few weeks but still higher than lower weights I have reached momentarily in the past 6 months.

    I am about to write up my exercise plan for next week and will be sticking to it no matter what. I am also going to plan for doing some things that I enjoy like the movies with my sons GF, (as my son will be away in Bendigo working for the week), a massage to help the aches and pains. It will also include doing some things I have been worrying about so I can stop worrying about doing them!
    "It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan."

    So that is my motto this week' Plan and plan and stick to it!!

    Posted by michelle :: 2:30 pm :: 7 comments

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    Tuesday, July 25, 2006

    AWOL

    AWOL… big apologies for my absence.

    I have been reading your blogs but life has interfered with my own time or desire to post on my own blog. Nothing major just small hurdles to deal with and major time, motivation and energy deficits. There have been many ups and downs in the past few weeks as there always is in life an dto simplify things I will just list a few and then I promise to be back posting more regularly.

    NEGATIVES:
              -Dh being a Dh, I will not go into details except to say major stress and the usual rollercoaster of emotions as a result.
                            -E has been sick again, nothing major, but combined with her discovery of puberty blues in a big way many emotional and draining discussions and worry.
                           -Work and the end of financial year hassles
                           -Mum ill and in and out of hospital for 3 weeks. Then when home she has taken to calling for me in the middle of the night and I have to rush over to her house to help calm her down when she is having panic attacks.
                           -My sister having to move out of her flat with 1 weeks notice and no-one around to help her move except “me.”
                          -Having to take my sister to legal aid and to court over a “neighbour dispute”.
                         -My mother and her Dh are splitting up! AGAIN and will it really happen?????
                         -Feeling I have been a bad friend because I have not kept in touch as much as I should with my special blog friends.
                         -Some medical issues that have raised their head and made me worry.
                           -Unable to lose weight and wanting to give up, resulting in my feeling I had nothing to post about. General feeling of unworthiness made worse by tiredness.

    POSITIVES:
    • Reading blogs and seeing the support given out to people having personal problems has been inspiring and heartwarming.

    • A trip to the snow with E and her GF.

    • My other sister is having a wonderful month in England and Spain and sounds much happier.

    • The blogging Melbourne meet was very exciting and inspiring.

    • I have kept to the Brichellee pact and exercised every day.

    • Although feeling stressed and resorting to comfort eating when I shouldn’t I have kept getting back on track and I have sustained a rigorous exercise schedule which I now know is so good for my mind and body.

    • I have doubt about many things but no doubt about my commitment that “I will not just walk through life anymore. I will continue to take it by the horns and run with it.”

    Posted by michelle :: 3:18 am :: 12 comments

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    Thursday, July 06, 2006

    BRICHELLE EXERCISE CHALLENGE-VIRGINS IN THE MAKING


    Bri and I started an exercise challenge last week and Kellee has joined us. In the interests of time management it is very simple; Exercise every day until the C2S meet up in August. 6 weeks I think!. The deal is that we nag each other and no one is supposed to go to bed without having exercised. Also plans must be made to do this and a variety of activity should be planned. So week 1 almost over and we have done very well. I have done the 1000 steps, a 2km run, 6km run, kickboxing, step class, resistance band class and dragged my exercise bike into the lounge room so that on some evenings I have ridden (just a little because I am not a lover of the bike) while watching Big Brother.
    This year my weight has gone up and down but basically stayed about the same. My efforts have been turned on and off like a tap and simply were not consistent enough. This is an effort to get those scales down into new virgin territory. I have to be careful because of the injuries last month but I am going to try to really focus and work hard for the 6 weeks. If I am not a virgin again by the meet it will not be for lack of trying...
    Have a great weekend everyone.

    Posted by michelle :: 10:11 pm :: 17 comments

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    Tuesday, July 04, 2006

    Hi Everyone

    Well where did the time go since my last blog? Seems time races by and the energy required at the end of the day to blog has been missing. As usual life has thrown up a few hurdles but they are behind me again now so I am back.
    Talking to my Dh at the weekend because he has been warned to do something about his health by his GP (again) and has joined the gym (again) I told him he has to do it for himself as only he can make the choices which will bring about change. That is something that I have definitely learned on this journey. Just wish I had wised up to that 10 years ago.
    Then I visited a client who commented that I was only half a Michelle now. She asked me how I had lost weight and I told her by choosing "me" in the busy day to day schedule that life is. For too many years there was no time to exercise, to diet, to do things I would enjoy because I had to be a martyr and try to be a myriad of other things for other people, loosing parts of myself along the way.
    So now everyday there is some time for me even if it is only very brief on some days. Yes it is easier because my kids are almost grown up but I could have done this in the past if I had been able to treat myself even a bit better than I did. If I had realised that my needs were important, as important as the needs of the other people in my life for whom I always made time. What a lot of time I wasted being that martyr and just eating my way through the stress. And yes I still fall back into the old pattern at times of stress but its Ok. I do not have to be perfect at this I just have to keep on trying and being honest with myself. If I want time to enjoy the rest of my life then I have to make time now for me, for my weight, for my health, for my emotional well being, for my soul.

    Posted by michelle :: 12:13 am :: 6 comments

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