Sunday, May 28, 2006
CITY TO SURF
Is anyone doing the City to Surf Fun run? My trainer asked me if I was going to do it and as there is an airline sale on at the moment I thought I might. Is there anyone who wants to do it with me? The run is on August 13th. Also I thought we could possibly have a meet up for dinner on the Sat night. Let me know if there is any interest please "www.city2surf.sunherald.com.au"
Posted by michelle ::
2:34 pm ::
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Friday, May 26, 2006
MIXED POSTS MIXED FEELINGS
Well what a week this has been! Following Sues lists I am going to keep the first part of this post simple:
THINGS THAT UPSET ME THIS WEEK:
: Dealing with people at the hospital who confused and upset MIL
: Dealing with other relatives(in-laws) who really don't care that much about MIL but insist on trying to tell me how to do what I should do, in their way because they are the experts, to look after her.
: School which timetables exams and deb in the same week.
: DD who snaps at me because she is so stressed out from all the work, deb practice etc.
:Women at tennis who wanted me to make my team stop their game mid way and change courts. All the courts are the same but she yelled abuse at me when I said I wouldn't stop the match to change.
:Walking the length of the shopping center to pick up something, entering a shop at 9.15 to be told we are not opening today till 9.30 even though signs in large print on door say opening time is 9.00am.
: Falling over during step class circuit and hurting ankle.
: Clients who refuse to pay bills but can give no valid reason.
: Worrying about whether we may need to put off some staff due to lack of work. (major worry for past few months and something we have never done.)
:DS using me as a taxi for his night at the pub. No problem normally but no notice. SO I arrive home at 8pm after a bad day to be asked to leave again at 8.30.
: On drive to pub breaking my hands free phone kit.
: Trying to get house clean on return from pub because no one else has bothered.
: Finally sitting down at 11.30, (mind you the day started at 4.30am) to have phone ring and DS asking me to pick him up from pub.
: Backing car out of garage and hitting garage door that for some reason had not opened fully. The car I was planning to take for a trade in valuation next week!
: Going to early morning training after only 2 hrs in bed to have trainer tell me off for training too much, but then she asks me to do time trial and mini olympics this weekend and to do boot camp next weekend.
: Phone call with sister who clearly having problems but refuses to talk. Then 15 minutes later her hubby rings me at work for advice on how to handle her (again!!)
: Not feeling in mood to offer wise advice to anyone. Hating myself and sick of trying to do the right thing weight wise and in all other aspects of my life.
: My DH behaviour and attitude that is so moronic I seriously have doubts about how we stayed together for 30 years.
: Feeling like I have no friends, no life and nothing to offer anyone.
: Having no enthusiasm for anything in life at the moment.
OK so that was the post I wanted to write yesterday morning but couldn't find the time or motivation to do.
BUT TODAY I WOULD WRITE A DIFFERENT POST:
What changed??
After weight training at 6am, and the normal morning rushing around I went to pump class. Hated parts of it but came away with a buzz as exercise always achieves.
Had a lovely email from my best bud Bri that helped me know I wasn't alone.
Met my GF for a walk in the Botanic Gardens. She has had serious problems with her daughter and we were meeting up for a talk to help her through it.
The sun shone and we walked and talked for an hour and a half. And before the walk I admitted my problems with DH. Something I have never done with her. I didn't dwell on details just admitted my overall despair with him. It was like lifting a load from my shoulders not to pretend. He has moments when he is wonderful but many times when he is terrible. I have chosen to put up with this for my kids sake and accept that as my fate until they are all independent adults. Then I will see. I don't like to discuss this with people because I know it would be hard to understand. Our relationship is complicated by things in our history and I don't want it or him judged. As I said when he is good he is wonderful. Just doesn't happen often enough. And of course when I get very unhappy I turn to food for comfort.
Anyway I digress but I just wanted to admit it here as well.
We walked and talked and I know I helped her. We then talked about our frustration with our kids growing up and away from us, we talked about our difficulties with our weight loss journey. We made a commitment to stay in touch more and to be honest and help each other. So yes I felt less alone.
Rushed to work and the rest of the day unfolded with the normal rushing around but it was OK.
So another bump in this difficult journey and again I am on the downhill trail. I know there will be more hills but as I said to my GF as long as we pick ourselves up after our falls and keep going it is OK and that in itself is being successful.
EXERCISE THIS WEEK:
MON: 60 mins kickboxing, 50 min stennis lesson, 30 mins weight training, 60 mins step circuit class
TUE: 20 mins fat burning DVD,3hrs tennis
WED: 60 mins running training, 90 mins tennis
THU: 60 mins step circuit class
FRI: 60 mins weight training, 60 mins pump class, 90 mins walk
SAT: 4km time trial, I beat my PB by 2 minutes. YEH!!
YES I am now an exercise junkie and oh how it helped this week or I would have just wallowed in my own self indulgent misery.
Today we are going to collect the deb dress, do some work errands and then my son may be taking me to see Da Vinci code tonight.
Tomorrow my training group is going into the city for mini olympics.
Have a great weekend everyone and thanks for reading this blog and being there for me to vent to.
Posted by michelle ::
6:03 pm ::
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006
A QUICK UPDATE
Just a quick blog to let you know I am still here. Last week in the middle of theenight my MIL rang me again and I rushed her to hospital. She has emphysema and that combined with a bad cold that turned into a chest infection meant she couldn't breathe. It was very scarey and she was very very ill for a few days. She is on the mend now and I will be picking her up tomorow from hospital and she will come to stay with me for a few days. It was very stressful to say the least. She is an independent, healthy lady of 80 and as she has never really been sick until recently takes illness badly as she naturally worries she is going to stop breathing. She has been my dear friend since I was 15 and lives here 2 days a week so has a big impact on us all if she is not around.
Hope everyone is doing well and that you are all healthy and happy. I am trying to catch up with all your blogs tonight.
Posted by michelle ::
4:28 am ::
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Sunday, May 14, 2006
MOTHERS DAY WEEKEND.
Hi everyone. I hope you all had a good weekend. We did. On Sat we had to cancel our girly deb shopping. We went to tennis in the morning and then to the fitting for the Deb frock. DD looked lovely. So different in a long dress! We then went back home because she had so much homework to do. She actually worked till midnight that night when I made her stop. I did some cooking and housework (dreaded ironing) and even tried to have a nap. That didn't work however as 5 times someone came in to ask me something. So managed to do some reading anyway. At midnight DD and I had to have a serious discussion. She still had 2 major pieces of work to do for Monday. I said she couldn't come on the run. With traveling it takes up 4 1/2 hrs!!! We had some tears because she wanted to do it for Mothers Day. I was disappointed but had to stand firm for her own sake. She was planning to just stay up all night and try to get 1 piece of work done and the next Sunday night!! With exams in 2 weeks and lots more work due this week I couldn't allow that.
Went to bed at 1am and woke at 5. Thought I might as well get up and go in to the run and attempt a run rather than a walk as the walk was not starting till 9.40. If I did the walk I would not get home till 12.30. Also I really had been pining for the challenge of a run even though I have not really been training for it. I decided I would try my hardest for the first lap and then walk the second lap. I felt my broken toe could handle that. Drove in as the trains do not get there early enough. Parking was a problem so thank goodness I had not driven in later. Walked to the registration area and registered and then walked to the starting line. Tried to see someone I knew but couldn't in the crowd. I managed to run most of the first lap even up most of the hill so I was amazed with myself. It is amazing how much better you can do when everyone else is running. You feel really slack when you walk. It was a bit longer than last time I did the tan because they added in a dogleg up and back a road so I thought I would be a bit slower. However with a bit of a push I did the first lap in under 29minutes. Very pleased with that. I then walked a fair bit. I had trouble walking up the hill the second lap and it was really hurting but started running when it became downhill. I had a couple of women ahead of me andd tried to not let them get ahead. One in particular was wearing a bright purple shirt and I kept running past her. Then when I walked she would run past me. Got to the 4km mark and I thanked her for inspiring me. We then egged each other on. I was secretly hoping to get finished under 1 hr but ended on their clock at 1hr and 6 seconds. My watch said 59 minutes but I am sure theirs was the accurate one! But that was a big improvement on my PB. For the last 2km my hips were in agony. I have never had pain there before. When I stopped I then had serious difficulty walking to the car. Not funny! It seems like everytime I run my body finds new ways to hurt! Anyway crawled to the car and no parking ticket, phew.
Got home at 11.30 to meet DD and DS2. DD had snuck into my room during the night and left me a beautiful scrapbooked card and a running bum bag/drink bottle holder. DS2 gave me some ugh boot style slippers. I laughed at that because I have never worn slippers(we have heated floors) and it made me feel like a granny. As I was hobbling around he thought they were appropriate. I left and picked up my mum to take her out. That is a whole different blog!! My sister met up with us and after lunch, (drink of hot choccie only for me) we put her and my niece and nephew in to see a movie and went shopping. Managed to buy a few things. Then my hips started hurting again and I was really the old lady leaning on a counter in a print shop while my sister ummed and ahhed about prints for her house!! Rushed home for a quick change as we were meeting at 5pm for dinner at our favourite restaurant. DD1 was late as he was late from work. He had only had 6hrs sleep since Friday am so was very tired. We had a beautiful dinner and I indulged with half a meal of my favourite vegetable risotto and half a dessert! We were all having trouble hiding our tiredness so it was just as well we had booked dinner so early. Home by 7.30 where poor DD had to do more schoolwork. DS2 also had a 100 word essay to complete for uni today. I went to bed at midnight (after many naps on the couch and she was still at it. Time to wake her now and then I will edit her work for her... I skipped training this morning because of my hips but have a tennis lesson at 9am so hopefully that will be enough to loosen me up without overdoing it. I am thrilled that I did the 8km run and bettered my PB. I love having these challenges to try to overcome as I feel so good about myself when I manage to do them. Have a great week everyone.
WHAT I AM MOST PROUD OF! MY 3 CHILDREN.
Posted by michelle ::
1:48 pm ::
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Friday, May 12, 2006
Thank goodness it is Friday
Well a very long week is coming to a close. I am not sure whether it is that I am getting old, or the winter blues, or what but I still feel exhausted. It will be good to have the weekend to recuperate a bit. I woke at 4.30 this morning and got up and did some housework then went to training. We did training with resistance bands. Must say I do not enjoy using the band as much as weights. Did an emergency run to the supermarket at 7am because DD had a soccer rally day and needed essential supplies. Her list included lollies, twisties and mandarins!!! After taking her to school I went to a pump class. I really enjoyed that. Off to work for the normal activites there, then home to pick up DD and take her to work. Back to my work for 2 hrs, then off to tennis presentations to collect DD's trophy for winning the Grand Final. Picked DD up from her work and came home and made tea, did the washing and painted the broom cupboard. Have been catching up on blogs and find it amazing how similar many of us feel. Thank goodness we don't all go through our lows at the same time. The support here really is incredible and I know I really rely on all of you when I am having a bad time. I hope I also help each of you.
My son has asked me to go visit him at his "gig" tonight. He doesn't start playing till 9.30 and I may be in a room full of strangers but I guess I should make the effort seeing as he asked.
In the morning DD has tennis then we are going for her fitting for her deb dress. Quite exciting. We are planning to then go look for the accessories required, gloves, tiara, necklace etc. Very girly shopping should be fun. On Sunday we have the fun run. This will take up all of the morning because of the travel. Then I will drop Dd home and race to pick up my mum. I am taking her to meet my sister at a local shopping center for lunch and she will go to the movies with my sisters children. Back home to get ready for a very early dinner at my favourite restaurant with my children. This is a surprise. DS1 is working all weekend on a difficult job with 5am starts. This is after his bands gig tonight and he has a 21st to go to tomorrow night.I thought I wouldn't be seeing him but I found out last night he is making the effort and will be joining us. He asked me today what I wanted for mothers day and I replied quite honestly " nothing just some time with you." I am happy. I wish all of you a happy day whether it is with your loved ones or not. Be good to yourself and be content.....
Posted by michelle ::
3:20 am ::
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Hi Everyone
No point my apologising again for my absence. This is becoming a habit. Life is just a bit overwhelming at the moment.
The party for my MIL on Sunday was a great success. She was very surprised and thrilled with having all her family there to celebrate. We had about 40 people for lunch so it was a bustling, busy afternoon with lots of laughter and sharing of memories. The photo is a photo board I made for her.
This Sunday is the Mothers Day fun run. Originally I wanted to enter the 8km run but have taken on board the advice and opted for the 8km walk. I am still hoping to run a lot of it and beat my time for the last run around the tan. However it seems when I run my ulcers play up so I have been worrying about that happening. Then last week I broke my toe. Just being my normal clumsy self rushing around in the early hours of the morning to go to training. Now if I han't moved the furniture to wash the windows I wouldn't have run into the furniture. There is a message there about washing windows me thinks. So I am now injured. It is not too bad except when I do a lot of exercise. The runners are not very comfortable. So I may have to walk the entire thing. DD is coming with me as my mothers day treat so that will make it fun.
Posted by michelle ::
2:41 am ::
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Monday, May 01, 2006
SORRY FOR MY ABSENCE
First of all sorry I haven't been posting or commenting. I have been reading blogs but have not had the time or energy to comment. I am feeling a lot better but still not 100%. I am finding that I am so tired in the evenings that I cannot bring myself to blog- sad state of affairs. Sleep has been elusive over the past few weeks. Either my stomach is playing up or I have been laying awake worrying about things. Many of the things keeping me awake are very silly. My motivation has followed my tiredness and while some days I have felt inspired on others I have none and eat badly out of pure self indulgence. Monday - Thursday last week I was so motivated and exercised every day, twice a day. But it didn't last! Last Thursday evening I ended up having to take my MIL home as she was feeling sick. Then I got a call from her in the middle of the night as she couldn't breathe. She has emphysema and reacts badly to having a cold. I went to her and ended up taking her to hospital where she stayed till today. That was scary and especially so for her. Luckily she has been getting better and I brought her home this afternoon. Of course the endless trips and worrying about her gave me another excuse to be slack and I think we have eaten at every takeaway in town. No exercise from Thursday till yesterday.
Last night I was supposed to go to my training session where we were having fitness tests. Of course I didn't want to go but I had promised so had to go. It was dark and cold. This is what we had to do. 4km run/walk (I walk more than I run) followed by 2 minute circuits in which we had to see how many of each exercise we could do in 2 minutes. I did 20 push ups (on toes) 46 squats with 2x 5kg weights, , 2 mins sprint racing (11 runs), 29 crunches, 26 overhead raises with weights, 1.06 min hover, 45 side raises with weights. These figures are then our benchmark for the next fitnesss test in 8 weeks. I was pleased that I beat my previous time for the run/walk but wanted to give up when my ulcers started hurting. This is really getting me cranky and worrying me. A lovely lady who only ran 2 km, ran out to me for the last 100 metres and urged me to run to the end. I so wish I could be one of those people who love running. I find it so hard and every step agony but at least I am getting better at it. The ulcers are a worry because I want to train for the 8km Mothers Day run. I haven't entered yet because I am unsure whether to enter the run or walk. I walk more than I run but last time I did the walk around the tan when I ran people told me I should be walking. So if I go with the runners then I will look foolish being left behind but the run is timed properly so I would like to have an accurate record to try to beat next year. Have to decide but if I push it too hard will my ulcers flare up??? Decision needs to be made soon.
Now I hope this post doesn't come across as a whinging one. It shouldn't. I am not quitting this journey just having my normal ups and downs. Although I give up over and over again I still get back on the right track every now and again and I am definitely getting fitter even if I am unable to move those scales down consistently.
Something to look forward to this weekend, I am giving my MIL a surprise 80th birthday party on Sunday. So glad she is home and will hopefully feel well enough to enjoy it.
I am determined to exercise everyday this week and I am going to take the time to draw myself up a training plan from today till the Mothers Day run, (and then stick to it) I hope you all have a good week. I will try to get to your blogs and leave you messages. But please know my thoughts are with you.
Posted by michelle ::
11:11 pm ::
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