Monday, June 20, 2005
ME..the real me
Thought I would share with you this letter to my son. It says a lot about who I am and may help you understand one of the reasons I feel depressed at times..simply I need to be needed by my children and I found it really difficult when Shannon moved out into his own home.
Dear Shannon,
It will soon be your 23rd birthday and I need to tell you a few things. Not for you, because you don’t need to hear things from me at this age…. an age where you are well and truly a man in your own right.
Firstly and very importantly I am so very, very proud of you. When I held you in my arms 23 years ago I dreamed of things for you. Those dreams did not involve riches or material things but that you would grow into a good person, a person who could be happy and enjoy life. You have done that.
You have always made me proud in your achievements and in your quiet manner of just getting on with things without whingeing or complaint. You have made wise choices and pulled yourself back up after life has knocked you down. My wish for you is that this attitude to life continues.
And yet I worry so much about you Shannon. On a television show last week they said to define your identity. I thought long and hard about this and mine is to be a mother. All the other things; .being a wife, a business person, a daughter, a teacher are all background for being a mother. I have not been perfect at it and those other things, especially business, have intruded many times, but in my inner being the most important thing has always been to be a mother. With that I have worried about every one of your endeavours, every one of your efforts and adventures and every one of your falls. That worrying does not stop because you are a man. It is with me every moment of the day.
Now you have left home and we joke about my need for you to call, to visit, to keep me involved, but that need is very real. I need to still be a part of your life and I need for you to still need me. And yes, I need for you to show me that and to show me you love me . This then validates me as a mother and helps me through those times when I am just simply missing my little boy who once thought I was the most important person in his world.
Go on with your life Shannon knowing you have me behind you trying not to push but to guide you in the right directions.
Be a proud but not arrogant man.
Be a content but not bitter man.
Be a worker but not a slave to your work
Work at life and it will work for you
Be a lover but more importantly a partner
Be a father…in every sense of the word and what it can encompass
Be patient and wise
Be flexible and tolerant
Be caring and compassionate
Be forgiving
Live a life that you will be proud to look back on when you are old.
And remember I love you………
…………………..………………..Your mum.
Posted by michelle ::
3:45 pm ::
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