Sunday, September 25, 2005
LOSER!!!!!!!!!!
It always amazes me when I look back and see how easy it is to fall off the motivation wagon. Last week was such a positive one for me with winning the weight challenge, almost making 20 kilo loss and receiving so much support from this community. I was on a roll with my exercise and enjoying every moment of it. But then things changed. Some personal issues that have been a problem for me came to a head and I just gave into them. I simply could not be bothered fighting my past bad habits but jumped right in feet first to using food for comfort. With every phone call that I received I simply turned to food to help me deal with the anger and hurt I was feeling. I think I have eaten more in the past 4 days than in the previous 2 weeks. I skipped my training sessions and then skipped weigh in. Ashamed of myself I went back to bed with food for comfort, telling myself all the reasons why I deserved the sheer indulgence. Of course none of the reasons were valid and I knew that but let my emotions rule. And of course if I didn't come on here and report to you all then who cared anyway. My internet connection went down for the weekend so I was even aided in not blooging myself out of the doldrums.
So damage is done. The eating didn't help me solve any of the problems I was being forced to deal with and they have now cost me a week, or two, of my weight loss because now I have to reverse the damage I have done. Well so be it. I did it, I take responsibility for it. Life feels very sad at the moment but doesn't get better when I eat, I just proved that to myself again. So I lost a battle with my emotions at the weekend but hopefully I have not lost the lesson.
Posted by michelle ::
11:40 pm ::
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