feedmysoul

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

AN UPDATE


-Had a wonderful time visiting Briony in Newcastle for her birthday. She looked amazing and her and her Dh are very talented musically so it was a pleasure to sit and be entertained by them. I felt like a welcome member of her family and really appreciate how welcoming both Briony and her husband were. The trip provided a relaxing beak from my normal routine and it was great fun sharing laughter with a girlfriend. Really wished we lived closer together because outr bonds are strong and we both just seem to "get" each other even with our many differences.
I went for a walk everyday I was away. It is amazing how now my body demands that I do soem exercise. I love going to new places and walking around soaking up what is going on around me.




Once home had some problems with my mother and some hassles at work. Hence the lack of posts. Combined with worrying about my own health problems, motivation has been seriously up and down. Have been maintaining the exercise most days however food consumption is out of control. On the medical front I now have a date for surgery so that is progress.










Any problems I may have been having this year pale in comparison to what has happened this past few days. My DS1 GF's mother has had cancer for 3 years. It was actually diagnosed the same week her husband collapsed and died in front of them all including my DS. She has bravely battled this disease and expectations have been that she would live for another few years. However 4 weeks ago she went into hospital after collapsing at work. This has happened a few times this year so no one really expected her to stay there. I went to visit her on Friday and was shattered to see how downhill she had gone since I last saw her. I spent a few hours with her and talked about our kids, reassuring her that they are happy and in love. Rang my DS who told me the family had been summoned later that day to have a meeting with the DRs. Diagnosis was that they would not be able to do anything else to help her. The next morning P (DS GF) rang me in tears saying she thought her mum was going to die. I talked to her for sometime and then my Dh dropped me in the city to be with her. She had driven in to the city and we didn't want her driving home. I am glad she reached out to me. DS was tied up on a job and if he came in there would still be the problem of her car. That day was a long and harrowing one and extremely heartbreaking. This poor woman has been through so much and here she was bravely farewelling her children and giving them guidance for their future. P alternated between coping magnificently, wiping her mothers brow, holding her hand etc and falling apart in private in my arms in the special lounge provided by the hospital for these times. As the day progressed and we talked and cried P began to accept what was happening. By 9.30 that night though she had been there 12 hrs refusing to eat. I had taken her for a walk in the park which did her a lot of good but the nurse suggested she should go home as they were sure nothing would happen that night. Her uncle arrived planning to sleep the night so we left and I drove her home to DS. I had suggested that he stay home and get a few hours sleep as he might be neede during the night! He had spent a lot of time there this week and was exhausted from both that, work which is very busy and his band having multiple gigs. Unfortunately the hospital is about 70 minutes away. We got home and I made her eat some toast then left. 10 minutes from their house I got the call from DS that Jill had died. I turned around and collected them , then the other sister and we went back to the hospital. The entire family came (5 children.) I tried to stay in the lounge so as not to intrude but eventually P asked for me to come in. Jill was at peace and looked beautiful. She was a courageous woman and a wonderful mother who helped her children face the future without both parents. I helped them to pack up her things and then they asked me to remove their mothers jewellery for them. It was a long sad drive home after that.
Life can be very unfair and the lesson to be learnt is to make the most of the time we have. I hope that if this happens to me I will be just as caring and brave as Jill. She truly exemplified what the word mother means.
Posted by michelle :: 8:21 pm :: 8 comments

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