Wednesday, September 13, 2006
PROBLEMS ARE OPPORTUNITIES FOR GROWTH
Hi everyone. So sorry I have been missing from blogland.
Simply snowed under with life, and feeling exhausted and with nothing to offer. The good thing though is that spring is here and many people seem to be finding their motivation again. With all the trials and personal problems in this community it is truly inspirational that so much support is given. Sorry if I have been lacking in giving that support but my own worries have left me quite honestly without anything to say.
The factor over-riding my state of mind has been the medical issues I am dealing with. I have had problems with my heart for about 10 years so knew this would be re-investigated. Didn’t realize I needed to worry about other things as well. Basically I have had some problems for about 10 months with typical womens issues and on telling the Dr was told it was normal menopause. (Again I am given a reason not to trust doctors.)
As I blogged a couple of months ago my GF who is a nurse talked me into changing Drs. This then resulted in a whole battery of tests being ordered. For a person who has made it a policy to stay away from “medical experts” as much as possible these were in themselves a burden.
6 weeks ago the Dr sent me off for some tests for uterine/endometrial cancer. There was a 3 week wait for this and they showed I had endometriosis, (hence the period troubles) and a small growth that needs to be removed. I am having some more tests this week and then will know how involved the surgery needs to be.
As my Dh was going through his own problems and having trouble coping I didn’t share this except with a couple of special friends. This made it both easier and harder to deal with. Being busy meant the times free to really worry were only those hours in the middle of the night. Not talking about it also helped to minimize the actual fears I have been having. Most of the time I am very positive and I am sure the growth will be innocent and easily removed. But of course the fear of worse is there.
Last week my Dh and I went away for a week together in Darwin. At the end of this week I told him about the tests and of course shocked him but now he can share it with me. Now that I have told him I am ready to share this with the rest of you, mainly because I feel guilty that I have not been supportive to the rest of you.
Life is always complex and full of unexpected twists and turns and I truly believe that it is essential to be positive and deal with what comes as best as you can. Unfortunately my need to be private is often a curse. Raised by a mother who is both a hypochondriac and who never stops complaining, I have an irrational fear of becoming like her that often makes me retreat into myself when things get tough.
Unbelievable timing my mother just rang me………………..
I cannot think of anything wise to finish on so I am leaving it here for now……………..
Posted by michelle ::
4:41 am ::
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