Tuesday, June 07, 2005
FEELING GOOD NOW FEELING BAD
I went and weighed in and I had put on1.4. This was not too bad considering myover eating of the past few weeks. Now my goal is to lose that 1.4 and then another 1.4 to be a 70s girl.
I went to cardio at 6am this morning and it was sooooo hard. I am not a runner and I don't know how you runners do it. I avoid the sessions when there is running and haven't actually been to one for about 6 weeks. So I bit the bullet this morning. When I got there the trainer said today was going to be really intense. The activity varied every few minutes or I would never have been able to complete it. I pushed myself and completed most tasks..just can't manage the skipping and some of the stepups on the bench seats. I am very uncoordinated at it. Thought I was going to collapse near the end. Just kept thinking of my new motto..Oh yeh I haven't posted about it here. A lady at the WW class said...don't say I can't do it.. say ONLY I CAN DO IT... I kept repeating that to myself as I was sprinting, skipping, etc.
Had a very bad few days with my mum. I will post about it tomorrow. Then this happened;
Yesterday while I was at the hospital with mum I got a call from my office girls boyfriend asking could she have some time off so he could take her hot air ballooning today. I had to rush outside the hospital to take the call and I was in the middle of some heavy stuff with her (another post) I don't go into the office on Wed. I asked if it had to be today ..he said yes. I had appointments all day and said when can you have her back, as I had tests in the afternoon. I said I would cancel my morning appointments. He said lunch time. She came in at 12 and said he had proposed in the balloon. Wonderful. Then she got cranky because she had to come in this afternoon on "such a special day." I said "he didn't ask for the day off or tell me he was proposing." She said because you have a doctors appointment and then turned away and sulked. Now at the last minute I cancelled my blood tests booked this morning, couldn't get to hospital to see mum, cancelled an11am appointment elsewhere and rushed in to cover for her. My appointment this afternoon was with a specialist ..apparently I should have read his mind and told him to take her for the whole day. Then the phones would have been uncovered in the afternoon when I had to pick up Ebony and My mother-in-law. I thought I was being a good person and a good boss but now I feel really bad about it.
I really feel bad for "ruining" her special day. Of course then the urge comes to eat.. have settled for a diet mousse. But am tempted!! I have this problem with my personality where I want to please everyone and be liked. Now I am stewing. I will probably worry all night. I rang my hubby and said should I divert the phones after my test and let her go home early. he said no she is being childish. He won't worry at all!
Had my test and my left eye failed..said I may be losing vision in it.. glaucoma? Have to repeat test next week. Of course I still haven't had other tests I am suppposed to have for other things. I had psyched myself into blood test this morning, then cancelled it because of the above. I must have it tomorrow before I go to work!!! (NOTE TO MYSELF)
I am very emotional at moment. Oh well nearly school pickup time and then lots to do.
Posted by michelle ::
9:45 pm ::
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