Monday, May 01, 2006
SORRY FOR MY ABSENCE
First of all sorry I haven't been posting or commenting. I have been reading blogs but have not had the time or energy to comment. I am feeling a lot better but still not 100%. I am finding that I am so tired in the evenings that I cannot bring myself to blog- sad state of affairs. Sleep has been elusive over the past few weeks. Either my stomach is playing up or I have been laying awake worrying about things. Many of the things keeping me awake are very silly. My motivation has followed my tiredness and while some days I have felt inspired on others I have none and eat badly out of pure self indulgence. Monday - Thursday last week I was so motivated and exercised every day, twice a day. But it didn't last! Last Thursday evening I ended up having to take my MIL home as she was feeling sick. Then I got a call from her in the middle of the night as she couldn't breathe. She has emphysema and reacts badly to having a cold. I went to her and ended up taking her to hospital where she stayed till today. That was scary and especially so for her. Luckily she has been getting better and I brought her home this afternoon. Of course the endless trips and worrying about her gave me another excuse to be slack and I think we have eaten at every takeaway in town. No exercise from Thursday till yesterday.
Last night I was supposed to go to my training session where we were having fitness tests. Of course I didn't want to go but I had promised so had to go. It was dark and cold. This is what we had to do. 4km run/walk (I walk more than I run) followed by 2 minute circuits in which we had to see how many of each exercise we could do in 2 minutes. I did 20 push ups (on toes) 46 squats with 2x 5kg weights, , 2 mins sprint racing (11 runs), 29 crunches, 26 overhead raises with weights, 1.06 min hover, 45 side raises with weights. These figures are then our benchmark for the next fitnesss test in 8 weeks. I was pleased that I beat my previous time for the run/walk but wanted to give up when my ulcers started hurting. This is really getting me cranky and worrying me. A lovely lady who only ran 2 km, ran out to me for the last 100 metres and urged me to run to the end. I so wish I could be one of those people who love running. I find it so hard and every step agony but at least I am getting better at it. The ulcers are a worry because I want to train for the 8km Mothers Day run. I haven't entered yet because I am unsure whether to enter the run or walk. I walk more than I run but last time I did the walk around the tan when I ran people told me I should be walking. So if I go with the runners then I will look foolish being left behind but the run is timed properly so I would like to have an accurate record to try to beat next year. Have to decide but if I push it too hard will my ulcers flare up??? Decision needs to be made soon.
Now I hope this post doesn't come across as a whinging one. It shouldn't. I am not quitting this journey just having my normal ups and downs. Although I give up over and over again I still get back on the right track every now and again and I am definitely getting fitter even if I am unable to move those scales down consistently.
Something to look forward to this weekend, I am giving my MIL a surprise 80th birthday party on Sunday. So glad she is home and will hopefully feel well enough to enjoy it.
I am determined to exercise everyday this week and I am going to take the time to draw myself up a training plan from today till the Mothers Day run, (and then stick to it) I hope you all have a good week. I will try to get to your blogs and leave you messages. But please know my thoughts are with you.
Posted by michelle ::
11:11 pm ::
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