Friday, May 26, 2006
MIXED POSTS MIXED FEELINGS
Well what a week this has been! Following Sues lists I am going to keep the first part of this post simple:
THINGS THAT UPSET ME THIS WEEK:
: Dealing with people at the hospital who confused and upset MIL
: Dealing with other relatives(in-laws) who really don't care that much about MIL but insist on trying to tell me how to do what I should do, in their way because they are the experts, to look after her.
: School which timetables exams and deb in the same week.
: DD who snaps at me because she is so stressed out from all the work, deb practice etc.
:Women at tennis who wanted me to make my team stop their game mid way and change courts. All the courts are the same but she yelled abuse at me when I said I wouldn't stop the match to change.
:Walking the length of the shopping center to pick up something, entering a shop at 9.15 to be told we are not opening today till 9.30 even though signs in large print on door say opening time is 9.00am.
: Falling over during step class circuit and hurting ankle.
: Clients who refuse to pay bills but can give no valid reason.
: Worrying about whether we may need to put off some staff due to lack of work. (major worry for past few months and something we have never done.)
:DS using me as a taxi for his night at the pub. No problem normally but no notice. SO I arrive home at 8pm after a bad day to be asked to leave again at 8.30.
: On drive to pub breaking my hands free phone kit.
: Trying to get house clean on return from pub because no one else has bothered.
: Finally sitting down at 11.30, (mind you the day started at 4.30am) to have phone ring and DS asking me to pick him up from pub.
: Backing car out of garage and hitting garage door that for some reason had not opened fully. The car I was planning to take for a trade in valuation next week!
: Going to early morning training after only 2 hrs in bed to have trainer tell me off for training too much, but then she asks me to do time trial and mini olympics this weekend and to do boot camp next weekend.
: Phone call with sister who clearly having problems but refuses to talk. Then 15 minutes later her hubby rings me at work for advice on how to handle her (again!!)
: Not feeling in mood to offer wise advice to anyone. Hating myself and sick of trying to do the right thing weight wise and in all other aspects of my life.
: My DH behaviour and attitude that is so moronic I seriously have doubts about how we stayed together for 30 years.
: Feeling like I have no friends, no life and nothing to offer anyone.
: Having no enthusiasm for anything in life at the moment.
OK so that was the post I wanted to write yesterday morning but couldn't find the time or motivation to do.
BUT TODAY I WOULD WRITE A DIFFERENT POST:
What changed??
After weight training at 6am, and the normal morning rushing around I went to pump class. Hated parts of it but came away with a buzz as exercise always achieves.
Had a lovely email from my best bud Bri that helped me know I wasn't alone.
Met my GF for a walk in the Botanic Gardens. She has had serious problems with her daughter and we were meeting up for a talk to help her through it.
The sun shone and we walked and talked for an hour and a half. And before the walk I admitted my problems with DH. Something I have never done with her. I didn't dwell on details just admitted my overall despair with him. It was like lifting a load from my shoulders not to pretend. He has moments when he is wonderful but many times when he is terrible. I have chosen to put up with this for my kids sake and accept that as my fate until they are all independent adults. Then I will see. I don't like to discuss this with people because I know it would be hard to understand. Our relationship is complicated by things in our history and I don't want it or him judged. As I said when he is good he is wonderful. Just doesn't happen often enough. And of course when I get very unhappy I turn to food for comfort.
Anyway I digress but I just wanted to admit it here as well.
We walked and talked and I know I helped her. We then talked about our frustration with our kids growing up and away from us, we talked about our difficulties with our weight loss journey. We made a commitment to stay in touch more and to be honest and help each other. So yes I felt less alone.
Rushed to work and the rest of the day unfolded with the normal rushing around but it was OK.
So another bump in this difficult journey and again I am on the downhill trail. I know there will be more hills but as I said to my GF as long as we pick ourselves up after our falls and keep going it is OK and that in itself is being successful.
EXERCISE THIS WEEK:
MON: 60 mins kickboxing, 50 min stennis lesson, 30 mins weight training, 60 mins step circuit class
TUE: 20 mins fat burning DVD,3hrs tennis
WED: 60 mins running training, 90 mins tennis
THU: 60 mins step circuit class
FRI: 60 mins weight training, 60 mins pump class, 90 mins walk
SAT: 4km time trial, I beat my PB by 2 minutes. YEH!!
YES I am now an exercise junkie and oh how it helped this week or I would have just wallowed in my own self indulgent misery.
Today we are going to collect the deb dress, do some work errands and then my son may be taking me to see Da Vinci code tonight.
Tomorrow my training group is going into the city for mini olympics.
Have a great weekend everyone and thanks for reading this blog and being there for me to vent to.
Posted by michelle ::
6:03 pm ::
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