Monday, February 13, 2006
VALENTINES DAY
Today is a special day but not for the usual reasons. My father died on Valentines day in my arms 14 years ago. His middle name was Valentine. So on this day there are both good and bad feelings. Memories that are always there but sometimes pushed down deep come to the surface. Not a day for celebration but a day for reflection. My daughter asked me last night "was he your real dad?" The reason for this question is that I was blessed with two fathers. This was my step father but never did I think of him that way. I had 2 dads, one I lived with who brought me up and one I saw occassionally. My "technically" dad (who I also loved)died when I was 16 and it was announced by a visit from the police at midnight. My second dad was there through that as well as through my marriage, my pregnancies and lots more. With an incredible generosity of spirit he had allowed my real dad to visit whenever he was sober. He went and picked him up and drove him home and accepted him as part of our family. He delighted when I had children particularly when there was a granddaughter for him to dote on. The last 3 years of his life were made extra special because he was able to spend a lot of time with her. I loved "my dad" and grew even closer to him as an adult. I nursed him through his cancer and this meant he could die at home where he wanted. I was fortunate because I got to spend many endless nights at his bedside where I could talk to him and let him know how much he was loved.I miss him terribly and just wish my children had known him more. He was the epitomy of a gentleman and was the perfect role model for what a man should be.
This man made an indelible imprint on my soul and definitely moulded the better side of me. He was kind and caring and tolerant and love and family were the reason for his very being...a truly gentle man...........
These were my dads favourite flowers. He loved gardening and planted some in my garden..............Each year when they bloom I have a smile remembering the joy he found in the garden and feel very close to him when I am tending the plants he loved.
Posted by michelle ::
9:48 pm ::
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